Retro Renegade Gifts

"It' an aftermath of the African campaign."

"I can't call nobody on this newfangled dang cellular telephone!"

Queen of Upcycling!

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Hiding the electronics.

Rock Climber

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

Music Freak.

A man without a chicken on his head!

"The judges aren't too impressed!"

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

Hip-Hopalong Billy Bob blamed the censors for killing the country-rap scene.

'Looks like Ed Miliband's attempt to stop the race failed.'

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

"No, I did NOT get the memo about "Casual Fridays." Had I known I would have worn flats."

Exams

'Well excuse me Mr. watch me pound on a hollow log!! I just thought our sound could use a change!!'

'But this IS my mobile home!'

'I play it to kill time.'

"Where do you keep the non-educational stuff?"

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

'Who called for a trouble shooter?'

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

Learn-to-dance pants.

"This isn't going to work - I'm rock n'roll and you're waltz time!"

'I think my work here is done.'

'Y.C.M.A.? Looks like we got dyslexic disco dancers in the house.'

'Things have been pretty quiet around here since the capt'n got into online piracy.'

Race car driver sees Pit crew member holding sign: Stop And Ask For Directions.

'O.K., I admit I'm impressed by your handbrake skills but does reverse gear work?'

Shouting.

Edmond's former career as a rapper would often screw up his bank heists.