Restful Renegade Gifts

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Hiding the electronics.

Queen of Upcycling!

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

Today, a special retro segment of The Fad Herald. It's the Fad Herald. Off the hook! Hey jive turkeys, here's what's not cool: Fossil fuels, dependence on Mideast oil, long gas lines. Here's what's groovy: Solar power, alternative fuels, energy independence. Can you dig? The world is changing, baby! Instead of solar panels, I'm buying a sweet 8-track player. Next week, a look ahead to 2040. What's out: Waiting in long lines to fill up the spacecraft with gas.

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

Wearing bras in 2020.

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

Music Freak.

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

'Oh, sure -- NOW you set boundaries!'

'My whole family made New Year's resolutions. Dad's eating more fruit, Mom's eating more vegetables, and I'm eating more cake.'

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

'Mr Evans, I think we'd better reconsider our no-smoking policy.'

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

Female Dominance.

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

Martha Stewart at Home.

Harold finally decided to take his psychiatrist's advice to become more receptive.

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

'I may not be an expert, but I know an ill-sighted wind turbine when I hear one!'

Mary Quant.

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

'Pay back time on the ranch'

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

"And after I'm through with this, I'll show you the exciting array of other body-piercing services we're now offering!"

'Do I look as though I want to play Monopoly?'

'The cows are out and are not expected back.'

"It starts out with a standard romantic plot: Boy meets Girl, Boy loses Girl, wins her back, Girl kills Boy, devours his head and lays eggs in his carcass. Ok, now here's the twist..."