Reservation Renegade Gifts

"Sorry, sire, could it be under another name?"

Hiding the electronics.

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

Worker Rights and the Smoking Ban

"Give him his food."

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'Oh, sure -- NOW you set boundaries!'

Music Freak.

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

House hunting is cruel.

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

'Have you figured out our New Year's resolution?'

Time's running out for Africa

'Can I assume from the rent that this place comes with its own butler?'

'My whole family made New Year's resolutions. Dad's eating more fruit, Mom's eating more vegetables, and I'm eating more cake.'

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

'Mr Evans, I think we'd better reconsider our no-smoking policy.'

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

"I want you to start thinking back inside the box."

Exams

'But this IS my mobile home!'

"When you pay the rent for your one-room studio, you mustn't think about what you can get for that amount back in Iowa."

The lessor of two evils.

We divided it up and turned it into a rental.

"Where do you keep the non-educational stuff?"

"I've burnt the roast...Turn down the restaurant lighting a touch!"

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

Godfrey Hunting for Lodgings

'I can't read my New Year's resolutions -- I must have spilled beer on them last night.'

'Pay back time on the ranch'

'Surely it is no longer legal to include 'deposit of your first-born child'?'