Retirement Rebel Gifts

Unusual Retirement Plans

'I know you just retired, but I want you to stop following me!'

"I rolled over my 401K into the football pool."

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

'Lager Lout'- 'Saga Lout'

Old man with straw in gin.

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Beard, socks and sandals.

Semi-retired man returns to work, amends sign to 'Not quite dun roamin''.

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

'Mrs Gridlington doesn't like being referred to as 'duck' or 'dearie'...so I just call her 'the old trout'!'

Old man fighting against time with an arm wrestle.

"I'd prefer this to a gold watch any day."

"I'm old enough to remember when people thought retirement had something to do with not having a job. Don't laugh! We used to believe all sorts of ridiculous stuff!"

'When he retired, I thought we would have long walks daily, but he's busier than ever...'

'I'm sixty-five. I'm retiring from being a house wife!'

"Opting out of annuities is going to be a disaster for some people..."

'Instead of hunting tonight, how about ordering a pizza and eating the delivery man when he comes?'

'Judge Bush agreed to come out of retirement on a temporary basis.'

'Ferguson's not like the rest of us, he's AROUND the hill.'

'I REALLY disapprove of our mandatory retirement plan!'

"She just said 'To hell with this put-out-to-pasture bulls**t. I'm hittin' the open road!!'"

"As a tribute to your outstanding career, we're retiring your assigned parking space."

"So you're telling me you prefer this to a retirement home?"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

Too old to rock'n'roll now, Sir?

"I told you he'd enjoy that more than a Gameboy."

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

'I really don't care about your work/life balance.'

'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'