Retirement Reveler Gifts

'Congratulations! You've gone from a care-free baby-boomer, to a care-needy elderly person in record time!'

'Dang! The Hoopers have been force-feeding vitamins again.'

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

'Case dismissed! -- I just reached retirement age!'

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"I really didn't think dad's retirement fromthe family business would be like this!"

"Grow old gracefully but don't be a jerk about it."

Retirement day

"He spends a lot of time in the garden since he retired."

"Unfortunately, our guest of honor can't be here tonight. I've just been told that he never actually existed, and is the product of a 1989 computer error. And isn't that just like Bert? Humble and self-effacing to the very end!"

Every Night is Over 60's Night

'Regrets? Not many, except for this list of individuals that I had the misfortune of hiring...'

'Hey, it's my first retirement check!'

'The retirement party would've been a whole lot nicer if they hadn't been changing all the locks!'

'What's wrong with me?! Nothing, I'm retired!!'

"You were a more interesting when you were making money...."

'Before you get carried away with celebrating, Stapleton, I'd like to remind you that my retirement doesn't go into effect until five o'clock...and I'm still your supervisor.'

'Walter just retired after 37 years at the shoe store.'

"He's making a retirement statement - he's burning all his DIY books."

'Walter just retired after 37 years at the shoe store.'

"Same thing every morning. Crack of Don at the crack of dawn."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Theorbo

Joust Sharpener

You're the olive in my martini

"I say we move on to dessert."

"Hendrickje, I feel another self-portrait coming on. Bring in the funny hats."

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

"I take it you're not heartbroken to be leaving the firm!"

Vitruvian Manatee

"If we didn't send them out to recess after lunch, they wouldn't be full of solar energy all afternoon."

Jenga!!!

Contestants defeated in the ring toss competition head back to the hotel to recharge for a late night nude hot tub partying and 'bootie shakin' erotic cage fetish dancing.

Looks like the Oggs are having a party.'

"Why did we wait to get recliners?"