Retirement Home Reveler Gifts

"I won! I won! I finally won $10 at bingo! I hope success doesn't change me too much."

Theorbo

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Joust Sharpener

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

"I say we move on to dessert."

"Hendrickje, I feel another self-portrait coming on. Bring in the funny hats."

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

'Enter, His Royal Globalness...'

'Great to see the ol' museum is finally getting a face-lift.' An old building getting a medical face-lift

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

Vitruvian Manatee

Nuclear Fusion Reactor - Our Founder.

Contestants defeated in the ring toss competition head back to the hotel to recharge for a late night nude hot tub partying and 'bootie shakin' erotic cage fetish dancing.

"Why did we wait to get recliners?"

When I make it, I like to see it.

Galileo drops ball from Pisa and it goes up.

"200,000 other people have also highlighted this passage of the E-book, you common idiot."

"Meanwhile at Oak Vista Rest Home... In case of birthday cake fire break glass."

You ARE entitled to return a meal...But NOT after you've eaten it!!

The Old Woman in the shoe questions her decision to spend her empty-nest years in a condo at a ski resort.'

Paterfamilias prefers his own bedroom (which the whitewashers have just left) to the discomfort of an hotel.

Three-Quarters Life Crisis

Old Biker: Now that I'm a real biker, all the old babes will want my body.

'Dang! The Hoopers have been force-feeding vitamins again.'

'You haven't changed a bit Perkins.'

"I didn't think you'd make it through biology."

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

Building getting a new coat fitted

'One second - wo seconds - three seconds - four seconds -one hour...'

Two inebriated friends meet, one says: 'Hello, I've not seen you since you were this high.'

"Fresh sprinkles for your ice cream?"

'Before you get carried away with celebrating, Stapleton, I'd like to remind you that my retirement doesn't go into effect until five o'clock...and I'm still your supervisor.'

"Bad boys don't die. They just ride in to the sunset!"