Reclusion Gifts

"You can just leave it on that crag, thanks."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

Traffic Cone Monsters

"Couldn't you just set up a facebook page or a blog?"

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

'He lives in a house, and it's by the side of the road, but he's still not a friend to man.'

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

Woman does a strip tease on a remote control.

'Dad, have you ever thought about retiring and going in for volunteer work?'

Trump Twitter ban

Excess Baggage: Experienced travelers opt for vacation spots where they're not bothered by timeshare sale pitches.

The Burtleys like to have beaches all to themselves.

'I hated our island vacation - everything was beautiful, but I had no cell service.'

"Do you think that I nag you too much, Ralph?"

"Whatever you do in there all day is fine with me, so long as it's not writing a memoir."

Delivery slots unavailable

"I'll turn this exodus around if I have to."

Thomas Pynchon's Evil Twin

Gone were the days of emotional restraint.

Heritage Acres

'Forget it. I'm sick of playing hide-and-seek.'

'You'll have to excuse Gerald. He's not so much the party animal these days.'

The hermit has relocated...

'I'm really sorry, Alfie, but I don't think we should see each other anymore,'

"I'm not really a lone-wolf kiddo, it's just that from time to time, I need a bit of time to myself..."