Retreat Gifts

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

Scurile travels

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

"To think—this meeting, which turned into the perfect day, filled with spontaneous adventures that will become priceless memories, could have been an e-mail."

"I'm going on a retreat."

Monk on the beach

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

Priest

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

Business acquaintances on holiday

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

Spring Training

Busy thoughts of people at a silent retreat.

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

'Dad, have you ever thought about retiring and going in for volunteer work?'

"I don't think there's enough vodka for another week in Canada."

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

"Tuesday is my day off - leave a message..."

Missionary Statement: Spread the Word.

Go away

"For quality control purposes, this phone call may be recorded and replayed for laughs at various office parties throughout our company."

'Mother, are you sure your marijuana use is purely medicinal?'

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

Ocean sounds $1.00

"I was social distancing. Until you just showed up."

'It was a long trip, but the french fries are worth it.'