Relaxation Retreat Gifts

"I always come here when I need to blow of some steam."

On holiday.

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

Scurile travels

"I'm going on a retreat."

Monk on the beach

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

Priest

"At last - no Trump."

Self Storage Unit

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

Spring Training

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

"Tuesday is my day off - leave a message..."

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

Go away

'Ferguson's not like the rest of us - he's AROUND the hill.'

'Mother, are you sure your marijuana use is purely medicinal?'

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

Ocean sounds $1.00