Relaxation Retreat Gifts

"I always come here when I need to blow of some steam."

On holiday.

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

Scurile travels

"I'm going on a retreat."

Monk on the beach

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

"At last - no Trump."

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

Priest

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

Self Storage Unit

Spring Training

Busy thoughts of people at a silent retreat.

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

"Tuesday is my day off - leave a message..."

'Ferguson's not like the rest of us - he's AROUND the hill.'

Go away

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

Missionary Statement: Spread the Word.

'Mother, are you sure your marijuana use is purely medicinal?'

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

Ocean sounds $1.00