Personal Retreat Gifts

Scurile travels

Go away

"I'm going on a retreat."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

"To think—this meeting, which turned into the perfect day, filled with spontaneous adventures that will become priceless memories, could have been an e-mail."

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

Monk on the beach

"At last - no Trump."

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

Priest

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with worrying that you forget something."

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

Self Storage Unit

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

Business acquaintances on holiday

Spring Training

Busy thoughts of people at a silent retreat.

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

Pray it Don't Spry it.

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

"Tuesday is my day off - leave a message..."

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

Missionary Statement: Spread the Word.

"For quality control purposes, this phone call may be recorded and replayed for laughs at various office parties throughout our company."

'Mother, are you sure your marijuana use is purely medicinal?'