Religious Retreat Gifts

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"You wanted a romantic getaway, so...get away."

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

Scurile travels

"To think—this meeting, which turned into the perfect day, filled with spontaneous adventures that will become priceless memories, could have been an e-mail."

"I'm going on a retreat."

Monk on the beach

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'

"At last - no Trump."

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

Priest

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with worrying that you forget something."

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

Self Storage Unit

Business acquaintances on holiday

"Yes, it's half past two - is that all?"

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

Go away

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

"For quality control purposes, this phone call may be recorded and replayed for laughs at various office parties throughout our company."

"Tuesday is my day off - leave a message..."

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'