Going On A Spiritual Retreat Gifts

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with worrying that you forget something."

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

Scurile travels

"I'm going on a retreat."

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

Monk on the beach

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

Priest

"At last - no Trump."

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

Self Storage Unit

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

"Yes, it's half past two - is that all?"

"They're on a silent retreat."

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

Spring Training

Busy thoughts of people at a silent retreat.

"That's the dating guru."

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

"Tuesday is my day off - leave a message..."

Go away

Missionary Statement: Spread the Word.

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."