Church Retreat Gifts

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"The meeting will come to order."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

Group Think Time

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"Always remember...it takes teamwork to get me that promotion!"

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

The Corporate Ladder and the Corporate Elevator.

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

"Fine - you don't want to run in the corporate 5K - I get it. What about the corporate cage fighting team?"

'My team likes to see me spring into action.'

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"Pistachio almond—that's the buyout."

Well, everything's going great! I guess it's time to bring in the naysayers.

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

Wrong leadership.