Personal Retreats Gifts

"Dad, mum wants to know if you'll be leaving your Man Cave to join us for dinner?"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

Scurile travels

"I'm going on a retreat."

Monk on the beach

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

'Therapy always works best in a safe environment ... such as your old tree house.'

Priest

"At last - no Trump."

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'

"I wish there was a way to get out of the city this summer without leaving Manhattan."

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

Self Storage Unit

"Ed is back from his silent cocoon retreat."

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with worrying that you forget something."

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

Spring Training

Busy thoughts of people at a silent retreat.

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

"Tuesday is my day off - leave a message..."

Missionary Statement: Spread the Word.

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

Go away

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

'Mother, are you sure your marijuana use is purely medicinal?'

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'