Personal Retreats Gifts

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

Scurile travels

"I'm going on a retreat."

Monk on the beach

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

'Therapy always works best in a safe environment ... such as your old tree house.'

Priest

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

"I wish there was a way to get out of the city this summer without leaving Manhattan."

"At last - no Trump."

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

"Ed is back from his silent cocoon retreat."

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

Self Storage Unit

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with worrying that you forget something."

Spring Training

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

Go away

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

"Tuesday is my day off - leave a message..."

'Mother, are you sure your marijuana use is purely medicinal?'

"I bought a new summer condo."

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'