Attending A Retreat Gifts

'Hey! -- This is supposed to be a spiritual retreat!'

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

Scurile travels

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

"To think—this meeting, which turned into the perfect day, filled with spontaneous adventures that will become priceless memories, could have been an e-mail."

"I'm going on a retreat."

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

Monk on the beach

'Therapy always works best in a safe environment ... such as your old tree house.'

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'

"At last - no Trump."

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

Priest

Self Storage Unit

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with worrying that you forget something."

Business acquaintances on holiday

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

"Ed is back from his silent cocoon retreat."

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

"Yes, it's half past two - is that all?"

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

Spring Training

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

Go away

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

"Tuesday is my day off - leave a message..."

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

"For quality control purposes, this phone call may be recorded and replayed for laughs at various office parties throughout our company."