Peaceful Retreats Gifts

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

"At last - no Trump."

Club Antisocial

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

Scurile travels

"I'm going on a retreat."

Monk on the beach

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

'Therapy always works best in a safe environment ... such as your old tree house.'

Priest

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

"They're on a silent retreat."

Self Storage Unit

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with worrying that you forget something."

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

Spring Training

Busy thoughts of people at a silent retreat.

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

Pray it Don't Spry it.

"Tuesday is my day off - leave a message..."

Go away

Missionary Statement: Spread the Word.

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

'Mother, are you sure your marijuana use is purely medicinal?'

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'