Religious Retreat Pillows

"I'll turn this exodus around if I have to."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

"You wanted a romantic getaway, so...get away."

Scurile travels

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

"To think—this meeting, which turned into the perfect day, filled with spontaneous adventures that will become priceless memories, could have been an e-mail."

"I'm going on a retreat."

Monk on the beach

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'

Priest

"At last - no Trump."

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

Self Storage Unit

"Yes, it's half past two - is that all?"

Business acquaintances on holiday

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with worrying that you forget something."

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

Busy thoughts of people at a silent retreat.

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

"Tuesday is my day off - leave a message..."

Go away

"For quality control purposes, this phone call may be recorded and replayed for laughs at various office parties throughout our company."

Missionary Statement: Spread the Word.

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."