Mountain Retreat Gifts

'It's for you.'

"Too crowded. Let's go."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Scurile travels

"I'm going on a retreat."

Monk on the beach

'Therapy always works best in a safe environment ... such as your old tree house.'

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

"At last - no Trump."

Priest

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

The Old Woman in the shoe questions her decision to spend her empty-nest years in a condo at a ski resort.'

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

"I don't think there's enough vodka for another week in Canada."

"Tuesday is my day off - leave a message..."

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

Pray it Don't Spry it.

Go away

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

'I'm getting worried about Goopta -- he's been having an out-of-body experience for three weeks now.'

A rest by the way

"He used to be in advertising"

"We can't blame the travel agent, you asked for somewhere quiet and away fro it all."

'It was a long trip, but the french fries are worth it.'

'It's SUPPOSED to be quiet up here!'