Mountain Retreat Gifts

'It's for you.'

"Too crowded. Let's go."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

Scurile travels

"I'm going on a retreat."

Monk on the beach

'Therapy always works best in a safe environment ... such as your old tree house.'

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

Priest

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

"At last - no Trump."

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

The Old Woman in the shoe questions her decision to spend her empty-nest years in a condo at a ski resort.'

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

"I don't think there's enough vodka for another week in Canada."

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

Missionary Statement: Spread the Word.

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

Pray it Don't Spry it.

"Tuesday is my day off - leave a message..."

Go away

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

'I'm getting worried about Goopta -- he's been having an out-of-body experience for three weeks now.'

"This ashram looks good. Every night after dinner they have a stand-up guru."

"We can't blame the travel agent, you asked for somewhere quiet and away fro it all."

No caption. (Painter looks at mountain scenery but paints a cityscape.)

"He used to be in advertising"

"I was social distancing. Until you just showed up."

A rest by the way