Mountain Retreat Artist Gifts

'It's great to get back to the simple life'

Scurile travels

"Shall I buy you a manual typewriter and break your legs?"

"I'm going on a retreat."

"Sometimes, when business is brisk, I have to settle for no nap at all."

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

Man on lilo keeps getting irritated by flies/birds.

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

Desert crawler following water

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

Welcome to the Hothouse Writer's Colony.

Spring Training

'What's the night life-like?

"I don't think there's enough vodka for another week in Canada."

Septic Fields Forever.

Pray it Don't Spry it.

Go away

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

'I waste Sunday worrying about Monday, so I compensate by making Friday my Saturday.'

'For this dish we're going to need two bottles of good quality red wine. And that's before we even start cooking.'

'Mother, are you sure your marijuana use is purely medicinal?'

Ocean sounds $1.00

"We can't blame the travel agent, you asked for somewhere quiet and away fro it all."

A rest by the way

'I thought you'd be calling me sooner or later.'

Sheep eating dreamer

"Spray me.""Trim me.""Prune me.""Mow me.""Weed me.""Fix me.""Paint me."

Angel sleeping on cloud-like hammock