Mountain Retreat Artist Gifts

No caption. (Painter looks at mountain scenery but paints a cityscape.)

'It's great to get back to the simple life'

Scurile travels

"Shall I buy you a manual typewriter and break your legs?"

"I'm going on a retreat."

"Sometimes, when business is brisk, I have to settle for no nap at all."

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

Man on lilo keeps getting irritated by flies/birds.

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

Desert crawler following water

Welcome to the Hothouse Writer's Colony.

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

Spring Training

'What's the night life-like?

"I don't think there's enough vodka for another week in Canada."

Go away

Septic Fields Forever.

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

Pray it Don't Spry it.

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

'I waste Sunday worrying about Monday, so I compensate by making Friday my Saturday.'

'For this dish we're going to need two bottles of good quality red wine. And that's before we even start cooking.'

'Mother, are you sure your marijuana use is purely medicinal?'

Ocean sounds $1.00

"We can't blame the travel agent, you asked for somewhere quiet and away fro it all."

A*se End of Nowhere POPULATION: YOU

A rest by the way

"I was social distancing. Until you just showed up."

'I thought you'd be calling me sooner or later.'

Sheep eating dreamer

"Spray me.""Trim me.""Prune me.""Mow me.""Weed me.""Fix me.""Paint me."