Mountain Retreat Enthusiasts Gifts

'Well, we'll have to move into town, then - We can't afford a wheelchair ramp.'

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

Recalculating

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

'GESUNDHEIT!!'

"You'll be fine. Just don't look down."

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

'What do you mean you 'forgot' the camera?!'

'Therapy always works best in a safe environment ... such as your old tree house.'

"I told you it was a universal truth."

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

'So what if we don't have running water?!'

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

'Because it's there.' ... 'Because he may fall.'

Oregon Eclipse Watching, August 21, 2017

"Yeah, I'll be glad when the baby is born: This is really affecting my balance..."

"So Barry, let me guess: you got the promotion..."

Climbing with a mountain goat.

'What's the night life-like?

"I don't think there's enough vodka for another week in Canada."

Septic Fields Forever.

Pray it Don't Spry it.

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

Weltanschauung (worldview).

Go away

Mountain climber reaches summit and finds sign which reads: No ball games.

Danger Signs.

"Now, that's what I call a speed bump."

'This is where the trail gets a little more challenging.'

'Yeah, me, too ? this is the best job I could get with a B.A. in philosophy.'

"Darned airbags."

No caption. (Painter looks at mountain scenery but paints a cityscape.)

"We can't blame the travel agent, you asked for somewhere quiet and away fro it all."