Remote Retreat Enthusiast Gifts

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

A Good Batch.

Club Antisocial

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

Scurile travels

The Oaks: Breakfast And Back To Bed.

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

"Shall I buy you a manual typewriter and break your legs?"

"I'm going on a retreat."

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

"Excuse me sir, is this the environment..?"

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

Spring Training

'What's the night life-like?

Septic Fields Forever.

Go away

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

Pray it Don't Spry it.

"I told everyone we're hibernating. Whatever you do, don't answer the phone."

'Mother, are you sure your marijuana use is purely medicinal?'

Ocean sounds $1.00

"Can I see your license Sir?"

'It's SUPPOSED to be quiet up here!'

A rest by the way

A*se End of Nowhere POPULATION: YOU

Glad we moved out of the City

"We can't blame the travel agent, you asked for somewhere quiet and away fro it all."

"With the help of workaholics anonymous, I was able to quit my job and take my life back."

'I thought you'd be calling me sooner or later.'

"The good news is that all the teachers loved the weekend brainstorming retreat. The bad news is that a dozen of them are out today, with splitting headaches."

"Talk about your small world - they're the couple that asked us about a nice quiet place for a picnic!"