Quiet Retreat Enthusiast Gifts

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

"We can't blame the travel agent, you asked for somewhere quiet and away fro it all."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

A Good Batch.

Club Antisocial

Hush puppy.

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

"The new house is almost ready!"

"Sigh...Another sherry Harold...Go team ect."

Scurile travels

James decided to stay in that night.

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

"I'm going on a retreat."

The Oaks: Breakfast And Back To Bed.

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

The Rudges' peaceful home

"They're on a silent retreat."

Spring Training

'What's the night life-like?

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

'Did you remember to lock the house?'

Septic Fields Forever.

Rustic Camping: No Water, Electric or Wi-Fi

'Do you have anything on obtrusive personality disorder?'

Go away

'The paper screwed up the ad. It read 'Wanted: Hired Gun' rather than 'hired man'.'

Pray it Don't Spry it.

"I told everyone we're hibernating. Whatever you do, don't answer the phone."

'Mother, are you sure your marijuana use is purely medicinal?'

'Talk about quiet, I didn't even hear them move in last night.'

Ocean sounds $1.00

'Oh, how utterly romantic! A hunter rug in front of the fireplace!'

Shut the F#%* up! (Formally Shhhh!)