Nature Retreat Gifts

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

A world full of noise!

"I was social distancing. Until you just showed up."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

Scurile travels

"I'm going on a retreat."

Monk on the beach

'Therapy always works best in a safe environment ... such as your old tree house.'

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

"At last - no Trump."

Priest

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

Busy thoughts of people at a silent retreat.

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

"I don't think there's enough vodka for another week in Canada."

Missionary Statement: Spread the Word.

Go away

"Tuesday is my day off - leave a message..."

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

'I'm getting worried about Goopta -- he's been having an out-of-body experience for three weeks now.'

'It's SUPPOSED to be quiet up here!'

A rest by the way

"He used to be in advertising"

Glad we moved out of the City

'It was a long trip, but the french fries are worth it.'

"This ashram looks good. Every night after dinner they have a stand-up guru."