Outdoor Retreats Gifts

'Therapy always works best in a safe environment ... such as your old tree house.'

'I'm getting worried about Goopta -- he's been having an out-of-body experience for three weeks now.'

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

"You wanted a romantic getaway, so...get away."

"The parasol certainly paid for itself this summer."

'A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, a CD player, a laptop computer, a cordless phone and thou.'

A man sitting in the grass reading

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

"He's 'getting the grill ready for summer,' which means he's washing out the beer cooler."

Monk on the beach

"At last - no Trump."

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

Priest

"I wish there was a way to get out of the city this summer without leaving Manhattan."

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

Water Gardening: And you will find yourself thinking over many garden problems at the waterside.

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

"What … have … you … done?"

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

Self Storage Unit

Busy thoughts of people at a silent retreat.

I'D RATHER BE IN MIAMI, 'Oognik, I'd like to talk to you about your attitude...'

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

"I don't think there's enough vodka for another week in Canada."

City Hammock

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

"That's better! - I can't bear the noise of the rain on my roof..."

Missionary Statement: Spread the Word.

Go away