Outdoor Retreats Gifts

'Therapy always works best in a safe environment ... such as your old tree house.'

'I'm getting worried about Goopta -- he's been having an out-of-body experience for three weeks now.'

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"You wanted a romantic getaway, so...get away."

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

"The parasol certainly paid for itself this summer."

'A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, a CD player, a laptop computer, a cordless phone and thou.'

"He's 'getting the grill ready for summer,' which means he's washing out the beer cooler."

A man sitting in the grass reading

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

Monk on the beach

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

Priest

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

"At last - no Trump."

"I wish there was a way to get out of the city this summer without leaving Manhattan."

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

Water Gardening: And you will find yourself thinking over many garden problems at the waterside.

"What … have … you … done?"

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

Self Storage Unit

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

I'D RATHER BE IN MIAMI, 'Oognik, I'd like to talk to you about your attitude...'

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

"I don't think there's enough vodka for another week in Canada."

Go away

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

"That's better! - I can't bear the noise of the rain on my roof..."

"Tuesday is my day off - leave a message..."

City Hammock

"I bought a new summer condo."