Reclusive Individuals Gifts

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Club Antisocial

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

"Couldn't you just set up a facebook page or a blog?"

Introverted Chair

Let's try something new, Al. I'll say a word, then you remain mercifully silent for the rest of the hour.

'He lives in a house, and it's by the side of the road, but he's still not a friend to man.'

"They're on a silent retreat."

Pray it Don't Spry it.

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

'Talk about quiet, I didn't even hear them move in last night.'

"We can't blame the travel agent, you asked for somewhere quiet and away fro it all."

"You can just leave it on that crag, thanks."

Trump Twitter ban

Excess Baggage: Experienced travelers opt for vacation spots where they're not bothered by timeshare sale pitches.

The Burtleys like to have beaches all to themselves.

"Whatever you do in there all day is fine with me, so long as it's not writing a memoir."

"Talk about your small world - they're the couple that asked us about a nice quiet place for a picnic!"

Introverts' Heaven

Delivery slots unavailable

Thomas Pynchon's Evil Twin

Heritage Acres

"Apparently he's from a silent order."

'Forget it. I'm sick of playing hide-and-seek.'

'You'll have to excuse Gerald. He's not so much the party animal these days.'

"Harold, you can come out from behind the sofa now - the grandchildren have gone."

"I'm not really a lone-wolf kiddo, it's just that from time to time, I need a bit of time to myself..."

'Ted hates parties.'

"Thank god for that. I thought I was going deaf."