Retired-in-spirit Gifts

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

'I grew sick of Madison Avenue,so I quit,bought the bar and never looked back.'

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

Too old to rock'n'roll now, Sir?

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

'Now that the price of gold is up, we'd like to have your retirement watch back, Boggs.'

'I planned to go to work, cancel my appointments, kick back and just relax...then I remembered I'm retired.'

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

'Sure, I remember using carbon paper. Does that carbon date me?'

The F.B.I.'s Least Wanted.

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

"Come on, be a sport! The cliffs are lined with kids and bus-loads of retirees: let's give them a breaching display to remember!"

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

"We'll go for a nice space-walk later on."

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

'I see the SAGA talent scouts are here.'

"I once loved a parade."

Dun spellchecking.

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."

Road signs of Aging

'At last you can put your feet up and concentrate on worrying about your pension.'

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.