Relaxed Retiree Gifts

'I outsourced toymaking and delivery, fired the elves and moved my headquarters here to the Cayman Islands.'

"You do realize that I'm retired too?"

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

'I've always allowed 24hour drinking here...'

Retirement Presentation - Instead of a gold watch, can I have a corduroy leisure suit?

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

'He's retired and loves to gloat.'

'I don't see how you were able to work for so many years. Since you've retired you can't do a thing.'

Old man in rocking chair playing golf

'Saturdays in paradise.'

"His motto went from 'work hard, play hard,' to 'work hard, rest hard.'"

Congratulations! Good Luck & Best Wishes!

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

Flotation Device on the Phone

Wearing bras in 2020.

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

Wonder what the shareholders are doing today...

Dun spellchecking.

"Sometimes I stop to think and forget to start again."

"After the truffle season peaks, we like to kick back and do a little clamming."

Spring Training

"I see here it's been quite a while since your last performance review."

'You've been having your damn midlife crisis for eighteen years!'

The Adventures of Morton - Reincarnation.

'Ferguson's not like the rest of us - he's AROUND the hill.'

"Hey, Ben! We're in Maine now. We don't have to perform."