Restless Retiree Gifts

'You've been having your damn midlife crisis for eighteen years!'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

"Come on, be a sport! The cliffs are lined with kids and bus-loads of retirees: let's give them a breaching display to remember!"

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

Old man fighting against time with an arm wrestle.

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

'Judge Bush agreed to come out of retirement on a temporary basis.'

Dun spellchecking.

'Lager Lout'- 'Saga Lout'

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

Beard, socks and sandals.

"I'm old enough to remember when people thought retirement had something to do with not having a job. Don't laugh! We used to believe all sorts of ridiculous stuff!"

'Ferguson's not like the rest of us - he's AROUND the hill.'

Old man in rocking chair playing golf

Workaholic Ned Fulgum takes his first day off in over fifty-seven years.

"I'd prefer this to a gold watch any day."

"I rolled over my 401K into the football pool."

'Oh, retirement is okay, I guess, but I miss looking forward to the weekends.'

'I outsourced toymaking and delivery, fired the elves and moved my headquarters here to the Cayman Islands.'

A moment with retired entomologist, Norman 'the torch' Walthrop.

Goodbye Party Today - Prof Whiley is Retiring to Spend More Time with his Inner Child.

'Saturdays in paradise.'

'I'm sixty-five. I'm retiring from being a house wife!'

'I don't see how you were able to work for so many years. Since you've retired you can't do a thing.'

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."