Relaxed Retirees Gifts

Dun spellchecking.

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Why Do Old Hippies Smile?

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

Wearing bras in 2020.

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

"Sometimes I stop to think and forget to start again."

Spring Training

"I see here it's been quite a while since your last performance review."

Beard, socks and sandals.

'It may be goofing off to you, but to me it's biding my time.'

'Ferguson's not like the rest of us - he's AROUND the hill.'

Old man in rocking chair playing golf

'You've been having your damn midlife crisis for eighteen years!'

'Mother, are you sure your marijuana use is purely medicinal?'

'I outsourced toymaking and delivery, fired the elves and moved my headquarters here to the Cayman Islands.'

"This is the software for my head."

Ocean sounds $1.00

'Saturdays in paradise.'

Lunch.

'I don't see how you were able to work for so many years. Since you've retired you can't do a thing.'

'Now that we've moved to this nudist colony, I suppose we should send everyone a change of undress notice!'

"I told you they'd chuck us off the bus with those smelly egg butties."

'Walter just retired after 37 years at the shoe store.'

'My husband has retired from the bench.'