Frustrated Retiree Gifts

'I looked forward to retirement. Now, thanks to the economy, I'm looking at re-hirement.'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

"Come on, be a sport! The cliffs are lined with kids and bus-loads of retirees: let's give them a breaching display to remember!"

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

Old man in rocking chair playing golf

'You've been having your damn midlife crisis for eighteen years!'

'I outsourced toymaking and delivery, fired the elves and moved my headquarters here to the Cayman Islands.'

A moment with retired entomologist, Norman 'the torch' Walthrop.

Elderly Dating

"So, what did you used to do?"

'Saturdays in paradise.'

'I don't see how you were able to work for so many years. Since you've retired you can't do a thing.'

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

'The golden parachutes are all gone. You'll have to settle for a golden lifejacket.'

'Harvest moon'

Would you mind stepping into my office, Potter.

I was considered a part time employee since I only worked one night a year and thus wasn't eligible for the pension plan, so here I am in my golden years.

Helium Parachute

"Some days I think of retiring. But at my age, I'm not sure I'm up to it."

Food stamps: 'The boss said we didn't need a union, he'd take care of our retirement.'

"Enjoy your retirement. I'm sure you will survive all of us. Hahaha, just kidding!"

'Since he retired, it's been all play and no work, but he's STILL a dull boy!'

Why Committees Move Slowly!

"I told you we should have voted for Clinton."