Reluctant Retiree Gifts

"Some days I think of retiring. But at my age, I'm not sure I'm up to it."

"We want you to come out of semi-retirement."

Would you mind stepping into my office, Potter.

Golfing Boss

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'What do you mean I don't take time to smell the flowers?'

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

"The holidays are finished George, get over it!"

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'...I don't want people to get the impression that I'm so passionate about my work that I'll be taking it with me!...'

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

Mental To-Do List

John was bck from extended leave, but he hadn't quite got in the swing of things yet.

Old man fighting against time with an arm wrestle.

Stop staring at that screen saver!

'Judge Bush agreed to come out of retirement on a temporary basis.'

'One day, I plan to quit my job and settle down with a good book.'

'Liquor will solve this problem, chief!'

Hot flashes

'Lager Lout'- 'Saga Lout'

'I'm sorry I didn't come to work yesterday, sir -- somehow, it seemed like Sunday.'

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

Beard, socks and sandals.

"I'm old enough to remember when people thought retirement had something to do with not having a job. Don't laugh! We used to believe all sorts of ridiculous stuff!"

"I'd prefer this to a gold watch any day."

'You've been having your damn midlife crisis for eighteen years!'

"Son, we didn't spend a fortune on your education so you can 'just be yourself.'"

Sundayafternoon Carpenters

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this committee.'

"I rolled over my 401K into the football pool."

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"