Reluctant Ager Gifts

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

"Careful... if you look too comfortable they take your chair away."

'Studies show that most boys my age don't like to read. Who am I to tamper with statistics?'

Stop staring at that screen saver!

'Liquor will solve this problem, chief!'

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

'Derek's a big fan of resisistance workouts. He always resists working out.'

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this committee.'

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

"The boss is on a working vacation and we're on a nonworking vacation."

Summer Reading

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

Man Readig Paper

'Who cares where Waldo is?'

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

"I wish you wouldn't take your enjoyment so hard, Ed."

'He loves all sports, he can sit and watch others do it all day.'

Would you mind stepping into my office, Potter.

"Some days I think of retiring. But at my age, I'm not sure I'm up to it."

"For Christ's sake, Bob, tuck your shirt in."

Trying to get kids into sports

"We just weren't compatible.Her body-clock was telling her to settle down and have kids,and mine was telling me that the pub was open."

"Frank's trying to outreach to people who only come to the library to use the washroom!"

"Baldo, I need you to take this out to the dumpster."

"Dr. Garcia is ordering to make a lot of changes in my life."

"John's never been a fan of the static caravan."

"We are looking for volunteers to give up their seats and not attend some college friend's wedding in Chicago."

"I really should call my mother — I just don’t want to talk to her."