Reluctant Leader Gifts

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this committee.'

'Liquor will solve this problem, chief!'

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"I am not asking for directions."

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'I had a great year and I wasn't even trying.'

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

The middle school mile claims its first victim.

Hot flashes

Stop staring at that screen saver!

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

"You're going to the Partner's Social whether you like it or not!"

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

Summer Reading

"The boss is on a working vacation and we're on a nonworking vacation."

"The only thing I like more than running is everything else."

Hunting - Man asked to go hunting by his wife

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

'Who cares where Waldo is?'

Man Readig Paper

'You were talking in your sleep again.'

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

'You can't do this to me, Arlene! -- I'm not the outdoorsy TYPE!'

"Every year it's the same story...dangerous situations. Slippery slopes. Inescapable traps. Horrible creatures. But I trudge forward because no matter what...it's hard to avoid the first day of school."

This week, House Manager Blowviatt has been asked to avoid the appearance of playing to the cameras.

"This could be a job for....Slothman. Nahhh."

"Sorry, I can't make it tonight - I have too good a parking sport."

"For Christ's sake, Bob, tuck your shirt in."

"Frank's trying to outreach to people who only come to the library to use the washroom!"