Reluctant Player Gifts

Quite by accident one football hater kicked the ball to the other football hater, who kicked it back again...

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

The Boys of Indian Summer

"The holidays are finished George, get over it!"

The middle school mile claims its first victim.

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

John was bck from extended leave, but he hadn't quite got in the swing of things yet.

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

Stop staring at that screen saver!

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

"Enjoy my first day at school? You mean there'll be others?"

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

'Derek's a big fan of resisistance workouts. He always resists working out.'

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

"My art speaks for itself."

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

"Wait, all the screaming, and cheering, and swearing – you've been faking liking football the whole time?"

"The boss is on a working vacation and we're on a nonworking vacation."

"The only thing I like more than running is everything else."

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

"I was celebrating Hump Day and ended up with Throw-Out-Your-Back Thursday."

'He loves all sports, he can sit and watch others do it all day.'

"This could be a job for....Slothman. Nahhh."

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

'Don't worry, Mom - I'll do my book report during the next commercial.'

This week, House Manager Blowviatt has been asked to avoid the appearance of playing to the cameras.

'This getting fit is killing me.'

"For Christ's sake, Bob, tuck your shirt in."

"We just weren't compatible.Her body-clock was telling her to settle down and have kids,and mine was telling me that the pub was open."

Trying to get kids into sports

'I went jogging this morning - actually got as far as the front gate!'