Reluctant Reformer Gifts

"I didn't hear Bill Clinton say it was time for me to change."

Golfing Boss

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

'What do you mean I don't take time to smell the flowers?'

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

Telling Self to Buzz Off

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

Mental To-Do List

'Liquor will solve this problem, chief!'

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

'I'm sorry I didn't come to work yesterday, sir -- somehow, it seemed like Sunday.'

Sundayafternoon Carpenters

"You're going to the Partner's Social whether you like it or not!"

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this committee.'

'Dad, do you really think trying to sell me life insurance counts as quality time?'

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

Egypt Political Changes

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

Burning the midnight oil again?

This week, House Manager Blowviatt has been asked to avoid the appearance of playing to the cameras.

"We just weren't compatible.Her body-clock was telling her to settle down and have kids,and mine was telling me that the pub was open."

"For Christ's sake, Bob, tuck your shirt in."

Armstrong, I've worked here for a long time and I think I deserve a raise. How about it? I'll give you an Indian Ocean raise, minion. How does an Indian Ocean raise of $2 an hour sound? Fun fact: The Indiana Ocean's on the opposite side of the world, so its "up" is our "down." I don't think that's how "up" works, boss. "Relativity" is just a theory.

'Relax Bob. You're among friends.'

'I love Saturdays. . . why couldn't this happen on Monday and ruin a work day?'

The Working Man decieved by Gladstone

The Fierce Urgency of Now

"It may be crude but it's effective."

'I'm trying to broaden my mind...'

A brand new day finds Fred, as usual, happily sitting on the sidelines of his own life.

The System Doesn't Forgive You. Why Would You Forgive It?