Reluctant Philosopher Gifts

'I'm trying to broaden my mind...'

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'

'I failed history again. I guess those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.'

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

"You'll be pleased to know you haven't got any homework this evening."

'It has nothing to do with relativity. He's trying to figure out his cable bill.'

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

"Son, we didn't spend a fortune on your education so you can 'just be yourself.'"

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

"Listen up - today is the first day in the rest of the coronavirus crisis!"

Interior Monologuist

"I keep forgetting it's not Christmas,"

Summer Reading

'I'm going, but if school didn't have a 'Kids Get In Free' policy...'

Man Readig Paper

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

'Who cares where Waldo is?'

'You were talking in your sleep again.'

'What do you mean, 'Land Ahoy!'? We're just trading Fishing Season for Hunting Season.'

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

"For Christ's sake, Bob, tuck your shirt in."

"Frank's trying to outreach to people who only come to the library to use the washroom!"

'Darn! - Don't you hate it when you forget what you were meditating about?'

"Can he call you back? He's meditating."

Grim reaper is selling 2012 calendars. A man passing by says-'Talk about adding insult to injury . . . '