Reluctant Writer Gifts

Meet the non-author! Noted scholar who never gave a hoot to write a book!

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'I failed history again. I guess those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.'

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

The middle school mile claims its first victim.

'Studies show that most boys my age don't like to read. Who am I to tamper with statistics?'

"You'll be pleased to know you haven't got any homework this evening."

Stop staring at that screen saver!

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"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

"You're going to the Partner's Social whether you like it or not!"

'Derek's a big fan of resisistance workouts. He always resists working out.'

"Son, we didn't spend a fortune on your education so you can 'just be yourself.'"

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

"The only thing I like more than running is everything else."

Summer Reading

Man Readig Paper

'Who cares where Waldo is?'

'I'm going, but if school didn't have a 'Kids Get In Free' policy...'

"The boss is on a working vacation and we're on a nonworking vacation."

"My art speaks for itself."

'He loves all sports, he can sit and watch others do it all day.'

"This could be a job for....Slothman. Nahhh."

"The long wait for greatness to be thrust upon one."

This week, House Manager Blowviatt has been asked to avoid the appearance of playing to the cameras.

"Next up is Alex's dad who's going to tell us all about the job that he has and feels desperately trapped in."

'This getting fit is killing me.'