Reluctant Writer Gifts

Meet the non-author! Noted scholar who never gave a hoot to write a book!

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

'I failed history again. I guess those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.'

The middle school mile claims its first victim.

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

'Studies show that most boys my age don't like to read. Who am I to tamper with statistics?'

"You'll be pleased to know you haven't got any homework this evening."

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Stop staring at that screen saver!

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

"Son, we didn't spend a fortune on your education so you can 'just be yourself.'"

'Derek's a big fan of resisistance workouts. He always resists working out.'

"You're going to the Partner's Social whether you like it or not!"

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

"The boss is on a working vacation and we're on a nonworking vacation."

"Well they say everyone has a book in them."

'I'm going, but if school didn't have a 'Kids Get In Free' policy...'

"The only thing I like more than running is everything else."

"My art speaks for itself."

'Who cares where Waldo is?'

Man Readig Paper

Summer Reading

"Next up is Alex's dad who's going to tell us all about the job that he has and feels desperately trapped in."

This week, House Manager Blowviatt has been asked to avoid the appearance of playing to the cameras.

"The long wait for greatness to be thrust upon one."

"This could be a job for....Slothman. Nahhh."

'He loves all sports, he can sit and watch others do it all day.'