Reluctant Achiever Gifts

"The long wait for greatness to be thrust upon one."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

'I had a great year and I wasn't even trying.'

The Boys of Indian Summer

The middle school mile claims its first victim.

"There must be some way of getting yourself fired."

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

"You'll be pleased to know you haven't got any homework this evening."

'In just ten years he's accomplished what has taken others weeks to do.'

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

The little engine who could, but decided not to- 'Ah, the heck with it!'

“Okay, Cindy, don’t think of it as learning ... think of it as a software upgrade!”

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

Segway Workout

"I don't want your teacher to think a kid with grades this bad....could possibly have a father who could read or write."

Back to school anchor

"Enjoy my first day at school? You mean there'll be others?"

"Son, we didn't spend a fortune on your education so you can 'just be yourself.'"

'Derek's a big fan of resisistance workouts. He always resists working out.'

"I don't want to climb the corporate ladder. I'd prefer to take the corporate elevator."

'I'm going, but if school didn't have a 'Kids Get In Free' policy...'

Hunting - Man asked to go hunting by his wife

"The only thing I like more than running is everything else."

"Use impersonal language, or they'll ask us to take responsibility!"

'Don't worry, Mom - I'll do my book report during the next commercial.'

"Every year it's the same story...dangerous situations. Slippery slopes. Inescapable traps. Horrible creatures. But I trudge forward because no matter what...it's hard to avoid the first day of school."

'You can't do this to me, Arlene! -- I'm not the outdoorsy TYPE!'

'Every year, I make a New Year's resolution, but I never stick to it, and it's embarrassing when people ask me about it...this year I'm just going to lie through my teeth when people ask.'

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

'He loves all sports, he can sit and watch others do it all day.'

This week, House Manager Blowviatt has been asked to avoid the appearance of playing to the cameras.