Awkward Achiever Gifts

"He's at an awkward age. His grades went up but his pants fell down."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

What else is there to wish for?

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Today we are going to find out if you can that leap."

Caged Businessman

"One day, I'll be the first woman!"

"You know, there's a corporate elevator."

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"Listen here pup, it's time you realized it's a "dog eat dog" world."

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

"Trying to get new business is killing me..."

"Think about it. Maybe it's a good thing the boss doesn't know your name."

Do you mind if my mother joins our little business dinner ? You know what it's like, I don't want people from the office to think I'm sleeping my way to the top.

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

"Sorry, but if we hire someone like you, you'll quit in six months and start a rival company!"

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'

"Timothy, success is nothing to fear."

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

'Please give me the strength to ask for a raise without my voice breaking into an annoying falsetto and my brow all sweaty.'

'Do I have to spell it out for you?'

"It's beginning to appear as if I'll never have greatness thrust upon me."

The little engine who could, but decided not to- 'Ah, the heck with it!'

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."