Anxious Achiever Gifts

'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'

'You're in extreme danger because you eat too much. . .'

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

'Please give me the strength to ask for a raise without my voice breaking into an annoying falsetto and my brow all sweaty.'

You've been in there for quite a while, little buddy. Everything all right? Go away, Randy! Randy's rule #896: A confident person doesn't get tinkle-shy just because there's a long line waiting for him or her to finish. Still here. Go away!!!

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

'Apparently it was only his fear of heights that stopped him from jumping.'

Tree growing

Managers can lock up when everything they know about leadership comes from reading.

"Call me a dreamer, but I see a world in which I give speeches without pants and find myself in the final exam of courses I never signed up for."

The Job Interview

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

What else is there to wish for?

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

"Today we are going to find out if you can that leap."

Caged Businessman

"One day, I'll be the first woman!"

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"You know, there's a corporate elevator."

"Listen here pup, it's time you realized it's a "dog eat dog" world."

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

A push in the right direction: 50c.

"Think about it. Maybe it's a good thing the boss doesn't know your name."

Do you mind if my mother joins our little business dinner ? You know what it's like, I don't want people from the office to think I'm sleeping my way to the top.

"Trying to get new business is killing me..."

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

"Sorry, but if we hire someone like you, you'll quit in six months and start a rival company!"

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.