The Assertive Achiever Gifts

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

What else is there to wish for?

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

"Today we are going to find out if you can that leap."

Caged Businessman

"One day, I'll be the first woman!"

"You know, there's a corporate elevator."

"Listen here pup, it's time you realized it's a "dog eat dog" world."

"You need to stand up for yourself, or at least sit up straight."

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

Ego Increasing School

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

A push in the right direction: 50c.

Do you mind if my mother joins our little business dinner ? You know what it's like, I don't want people from the office to think I'm sleeping my way to the top.

"Trying to get new business is killing me..."

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

'The answer is still no. I may look like a pushover, but I'm not.'

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

"Sorry, but if we hire someone like you, you'll quit in six months and start a rival company!"

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'

'Please give me the strength to ask for a raise without my voice breaking into an annoying falsetto and my brow all sweaty.'

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

"It's beginning to appear as if I'll never have greatness thrust upon me."

'Do I have to spell it out for you?'

"Well, I guess that old saying really is true: the squeaky wheel gets the grease!"

'It's true that a college degree might render you overqualified for your present position, but it's a chance I'd take.'