The Assertive Achiever Pillows

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

What else is there to wish for?

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

"Today we are going to find out if you can that leap."

Caged Businessman

"One day, I'll be the first woman!"

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"You need to stand up for yourself, or at least sit up straight."

"You know, there's a corporate elevator."

"Listen here pup, it's time you realized it's a "dog eat dog" world."

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

Ego Increasing School

A push in the right direction: 50c.

"Trying to get new business is killing me..."

Do you mind if my mother joins our little business dinner ? You know what it's like, I don't want people from the office to think I'm sleeping my way to the top.

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

'The answer is still no. I may look like a pushover, but I'm not.'

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

"Sorry, but if we hire someone like you, you'll quit in six months and start a rival company!"

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

'Please give me the strength to ask for a raise without my voice breaking into an annoying falsetto and my brow all sweaty.'

"It's beginning to appear as if I'll never have greatness thrust upon me."

'Do I have to spell it out for you?'

How to get ahead and how to get further ahead.

Tree growing

'It's true that a college degree might render you overqualified for your present position, but it's a chance I'd take.'