Assertiveness Pillows

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"I'm finally being the hero of my own story."

Assertive hotline: 'Even though the announcer tells you not to, it's OK to touch your TV dial.'

'I should have warned you about the hazards of being very assertive!'

"Well, I guess that old saying really is true: the squeaky wheel gets the grease!"

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

Exercising

"You need to stand up for yourself, or at least sit up straight."

'You need to ask yourself, Am I a pecan or a pecan't?'

Ego Increasing School

'We're looking with someone with balls...not an enlarged prostate.'

'The answer is still no. I may look like a pushover, but I'm not.'

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

'You've got to be more assertive. You can't just say 'Cock-a-doodle-maybe-do.'

'Actually, what makes you think I suffer from insufficiency syndrome?'

"Well, I admire your assertiveness, but you might want to work on your people skills!"

Whatever

'It appears she's none of her grandmother's subtlety.'

Learning to say 'no'

"Caller, let me stop you right there. Your problem is you're a doormat! You need to march right back in there and tell him you don't take orders from any man, and if he wants dinner he can fix it himself!"

Arrogant OAP.

'Has he been reading Any Rand again?'

'See! It's all in the wrist.'

'Quit always tryin' to tell me what to do!'

Over the years, Sid had refined travel on the path of least resistance to a fine art.

"...anyway, that's enough about me...in next week's session we'll talk about something else."

"Ugh, they gave us these L badges for 'liberal' but I'm a leftist!"

'I say, Addison

Assertiveness class

'How elaborate. Most women who don't want to go out with me just say no.'

'Jimmy's not interested in sport - He'd sooner be out, kicking a ball around.'

"I don't care what the question is."

'He's always been a bit of a show-off!'