Assertiveness Expert Pillows

'Since he did his assertiveness course I havn't been able to get anywhere near our T.V remote control.'

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

"Can you give me a haircut that says, 'If you mess with my budget I'll rip out your soul, wring it like a dish towel, and drink it from a teacup'?"

"You need to stand up for yourself, or at least sit up straight."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

Ego Increasing School

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

'We're looking with someone with balls...not an enlarged prostate.'

'The answer is still no. I may look like a pushover, but I'm not.'

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

"Well, I guess that old saying really is true: the squeaky wheel gets the grease!"

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

'You've got to be more assertive. You can't just say 'Cock-a-doodle-maybe-do.'

"In this dream I am flavor of the moth, and double-chocolate-fudge ripple doesn't scare me."

'Actually, what makes you think I suffer from insufficiency syndrome?'

"Honey, you awake? Are you sleeping? Well, I hated your lasagna tonight."

'No... you first.'

"Well, I admire your assertiveness, but you might want to work on your people skills!"

"Don't be silly, Wendy...who would make fun of such cute glasses?"

'This model gets great gas mileage but is recommended only for the very agile driver.'

"If anyone wants me I'll be on the shop floor strutting my stuff."

'That's what I like about the Big Guy - he's usually wrong, but he's never in doubt.'

"Caller, let me stop you right there. Your problem is you're a doormat! You need to march right back in there and tell him you don't take orders from any man, and if he wants dinner he can fix it himself!"

'I'm impressed by your self-confidence. What other skills do you have?'

Learning to say 'no'

"I seriously doubt people will notice your hairy back."

"Passive-aggressive musical chairs." "You sit. I don’t deserve to" "I couldn’t possibly." "Maybe two of us could share." "Someone else go first." "I actually prefer standing."

'It appears she's none of her grandmother's subtlety.'

'Has he been reading Any Rand again?'

'See! It's all in the wrist.'

"...anyway, that's enough about me...in next week's session we'll talk about something else."

Security Badge/Insecurity Badge.

'I say, Addison