Assertive Communicator Pillows

"I don't care what the question is."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"I'm fascinated by body language."

"You need to stand up for yourself, or at least sit up straight."

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

Ego Increasing School

"Go on, say it again, 'I love you' in Armadillo."

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'The answer is still no. I may look like a pushover, but I'm not.'

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

"Well, I guess that old saying really is true: the squeaky wheel gets the grease!"

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

'I'm dropping you a lion.'

I'm afraid nurse Wilcox can't have a supportive caring chat with you until she's had the appropriate training.

'You've got to be more assertive. You can't just say 'Cock-a-doodle-maybe-do.'

"Well, I admire your assertiveness, but you might want to work on your people skills!"

'Actually, what makes you think I suffer from insufficiency syndrome?'

'I'm very impressed with how you effectively dodged every one of my questions.'

"Watch out for Bernie...he's a man of few words but a lot of gestures."

"Anything wrong, sweetie pie? You've been ignoring the tip jar lately."

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

"I have difficulty expressing my feelings."

Learning to say 'no'

"Caller, let me stop you right there. Your problem is you're a doormat! You need to march right back in there and tell him you don't take orders from any man, and if he wants dinner he can fix it himself!"

"I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone...Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communications with patients in personal, supportive but not disempowering course?"

'Has he been reading Any Rand again?'

"And if I may tell you, in strictest confidence..."

"It's not about the worms; it's never been about the worms. It's always been about getting up early."

'Don't worry, I'll make sure she sees it!'