Ironic Achiever Gifts

The bittersweet joy of running the fastest 100 meters in human history then realizing you've run it the wrong way.

I can't believe it - I've made it again!!!

'When I think of all the homework my dog ate, I can hardly believe that I'm sitting at this desk.'

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

"Today we are going to find out if you can that leap."

Caged Businessman

"One day, I'll be the first woman!"

"You know, there's a corporate elevator."

"Listen here pup, it's time you realized it's a "dog eat dog" world."

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

'I had a great year and I wasn't even trying.'

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

"Trying to get new business is killing me..."

Do you mind if my mother joins our little business dinner ? You know what it's like, I don't want people from the office to think I'm sleeping my way to the top.

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

"Sorry, but if we hire someone like you, you'll quit in six months and start a rival company!"

'Do I have to spell it out for you?'

Succeed.

'I must be growing up. I've caught myself washing my hands without being told to.'

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

"My career was on the launching pad."

"Lord, who or what is strewing my path to success with obstacles!"

'I'm worried that if I study too hard, I couldn end up being a teacher.'

'I'm really focused on trying to get my black belt.'

'My long term plan is to grow with the company.'

'Wow! CEO in just ten days! You ARE a quick study, Perkins!'

'I'm appointing myself Vice-President... I need the money.'

"This year I'm going to lose weight!"

"I was assistant to Prince Andrew for six months, then I realised that, no matter how good I was, they were never going to make me Prince Andrew."

'Ferguson always was an overachiever.'

'Remember I said I wish I had more arms so I could get more things done? Well the doctor took care of that problem.'