Ironic Achiever T-Shirts

The bittersweet joy of running the fastest 100 meters in human history then realizing you've run it the wrong way.

I can't believe it - I've made it again!!!

'When I think of all the homework my dog ate, I can hardly believe that I'm sitting at this desk.'

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

"Today we are going to find out if you can that leap."

Caged Businessman

"One day, I'll be the first woman!"

"You know, there's a corporate elevator."

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"Listen here pup, it's time you realized it's a "dog eat dog" world."

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

Procrastinators Incorporated

'I had a great year and I wasn't even trying.'

Do you mind if my mother joins our little business dinner ? You know what it's like, I don't want people from the office to think I'm sleeping my way to the top.

"Trying to get new business is killing me..."

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

Ladder of Success. Slide of fun.

"Sorry, but if we hire someone like you, you'll quit in six months and start a rival company!"

'Do I have to spell it out for you?'

Succeed.

'I must be growing up. I've caught myself washing my hands without being told to.'

'I'm worried that if I study too hard, I couldn end up being a teacher.'

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

"Lord, who or what is strewing my path to success with obstacles!"

"My career was on the launching pad."

'I'm really focused on trying to get my black belt.'

'My long term plan is to grow with the company.'

'Wow! CEO in just ten days! You ARE a quick study, Perkins!'

"This year I'm going to lose weight!"

"I was assistant to Prince Andrew for six months, then I realised that, no matter how good I was, they were never going to make me Prince Andrew."

'I'm appointing myself Vice-President... I need the money.'