Reluctant Mathematician Gifts

"If this piece of paper lands in that trash basket, I'll quit teaching, move to the country, write my novel, and never grade another math quiz ever again." "Let's see, six right, four wrong..."

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

'It has nothing to do with relativity. He's trying to figure out his cable bill.'

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

'Very good, Jeffrey! - You are so creative!'

'The math is more complex this year and some of you won't be able to just tap out your answers anymore.'

'I failed history again. I guess those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.'

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

"You'll be pleased to know you haven't got any homework this evening."

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

'I'm sorry I didn't come to work yesterday, sir -- somehow, it seemed like Sunday.'

"Arithmetic doesn't agree with me."

"Enjoy my first day at school? You mean there'll be others?"

Back to school anchor

Alternative Accountants

Seagulls attacking Picnicker in Formation

Cats are not as intelligent as you think.

"Son, we didn't spend a fortune on your education so you can 'just be yourself.'"

"Should I fix it or call it a water feature?"

'I'm going, but if school didn't have a 'Kids Get In Free' policy...'

Probability Test.

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

'Dang it Sharif, I told you we shouldn't built the jacuzzi on an ancient bee burial ground.'

'In the real world there is no such thing as algebra.'

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

"I can catch up with all the chores my wife wants done over the Labor Day weekend."

"The long wait for greatness to be thrust upon one."

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

"I'm writing a book on everything I don't know about technology. It's a lot longer than I originally thought."