Quirky Mathematician Gifts

'Very good, Jeffrey! - You are so creative!'

Alternative Accountants

New math.

'The math is more complex this year and some of you won't be able to just tap out your answers anymore.'

"No, that's just wrong. It's not "thinking outside the box'.''

"I'm beginning to think that coming up with a password that's never been used may be an unsolvable problem."

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

Reverse Ageing Laboratory

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

Subatomic particles

'This way, we'll always have rose petals on the bed. Pretty romantic, huh?'

Recombinant DNA Lab. I'm crossing a pine tree, pumpkin and bunny --- You can use it for three holidays!

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

"I love the equation that describes the slope of your nose."

Genetic Fingerprinting.

Pavlov's Cat

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

'The batteries in my calculator just died. Good thing I kept the instructions on how to count on my fingers.'

"Galileo, I've had about enough of all your gravity experiments!"

'Quickly boy, tell me which test tube you drank from?!'

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

Cloning Laboratory: 'I never thought I'd work here.'

'Now Gregory needed an investor to take his Gentlemen's Lavatory Tongs from dream to reality.'

Goopco Oil Co. What a party! They're having a contest to see who the crudest oil molecule is!

'I suppose if we had some money we could buy sand from each other.'

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

No other lab did as cutting edge research using lab rats as test subjects as McWit Lab.