Humorous Mathematician Gifts

'The batteries in my calculator just died. Good thing I kept the instructions on how to count on my fingers.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"I love the equation that describes the slope of your nose."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'Very good, Jeffrey! - You are so creative!'

Computation Lite, 13 Computations Than Our Regular Formulas.

'The math is more complex this year and some of you won't be able to just tap out your answers anymore.'

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

"My homework? It was super easy today. I drew a dragon and daddy did Math."

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

Sophocles Playwriting School. Euclid and Aphrodite are writing their play together. It must be a love triangle.

Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

Mobius Comic Strip.

With the aid of an abacus, Elizabeth Barrett Browning counts the ways.

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

The geometry of everyday life

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

'We're going to need a bigger basket.'

"I'm beginning to think that coming up with a password that's never been used may be an unsolvable problem."

"Pi and mash squared please."

'My husband always loves your Poisson distribution - it's something to do with being a mathematician.'

"Some consider me the Pollock of calculus."

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

"For her birthday I bought my wife an abacus...

"Is x the wrong angle?"

"You know what we call a number that won't sit still?"

Hillary's New Math

Maths Department with sum on door sign.

Alternative Accountants

A Wrecked-angle.